Dear Ben,

So how has your first full year as an adult gone?  Bills piling up yet?  How's the hairline?  Don't forget to stretch before any strenuous activity.  You aren't young anymore!

I know you probably don't feel like much has changed in the past year, and in a lot of ways you would be right.  Much of your life is the same as it was just over a year ago.  You are still in college, still saving up as much of your laundry as possible for your trips home and, somehow, I'm still calling in your prescriptions.  

The past year has brought changes, but they are generally more subtle (except your beard, that one kind of stands out). You have taken much more responsibility for your schoolwork and taking care of things like your car and managing your time and relationships.  I'm very proud of how you have made time to visit family members and how you keep in touch with both your mother and me.  You have always been responsible with your work, but in the past year you have taken on even more, such as setting up your transfer to the Hannaford near school and in getting your promotion.  Generally, that is how this adult thing works.  Over time you take more responsibility for your situation, and gain confidence as you navigate new experiences.

One universally accepted truth is that most children spend a great deal of time looking forward to what comes next - summer vacation, getting your license, going to college, getting that big job or expensive car, etc.  At some point, adults start spending more and more time looking back - nostalgic for remembered childhood simplicities, the feeling of having all the time in the world to pursue all your dreams, and relationships that are no longer the same.  

There is nothing wrong with spending some time revisiting old memories, and you never want to lose the ability to dream about the future.  It is important, in every stage of your life, to stop and appreciate where you are and what you have.  Enjoy the now and all the joy it brings and create the memories that one day you will look back on fondly.  

Despite our time away from each other over the past year due to school and work, in many ways I feel closer to you.  This fall has been busier than last year, but we have still managed to get in a few calls and even a few games (we have to finish our current one so I can tally up the L). I'm glad you have found a group at school with whom you have shared interests, and that you are doing so well prioritizing your relationship with Maya as well.  Keep putting yourself out there and take advantage of the opportunities you have now to meet new people and try new things.  Keep working towards a future that will bring you happiness, but don't forget to pause and enjoy the now.

Love always, 

Daddy