Dear Ben,

Here I am, just like every year, wondering how it’s been another whole year already. You’ll be 19 tomorrow and will have navigated your first year as an official adult. You completed your freshman year of college and are becoming so much more independent. Although it was hard having you away for so much of the year (selfishly), I loved knowing that you were growing as a person out in the world. You found a new group of friends in your Warhammer club. You dealt with a weird roommate situation, an unexpected no-roommate situation, and then found a much better setup with Lucas this year. You made many long drives back and forth to Hartford, and you learned to balance your school work in a responsible and successful way. You worked a lot over the summer and were promoted to a leadership role. You've always been happy to work, and that has served you well... working even now at the Hannaford near campus during the semester, taking on an additional responsibility while you're away at school. Although this isn’t probably the part of the year you would like to commemorate in this letter, I will say that one of your biggest challenges and opportunities for growth stemmed from your speeding ticket debacle. When you called me afterward, my heart broke for you. I wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out and give you a hug. You were so upset - frustrated and disappointed and worried. I was also angry that you made such a dangerous mistake, which could have ended far worse than with a speeding ticket. And I was so thankful that nothing scarier had happened. Aside from the significant fine, the real kicker came when a letter arrived explaining your license would be suspended because you were still (a mere few days) within your probationary period. This was your adult problem to handle - as parents we could give you advice and offer support, but the rest you had to do on your own. Everything you did to appeal the suspension was filled with life lessons. No, the drivers safety course didn’t teach you anything you didn’t already know - but having to dedicate a weekend to taking it was impactful in its own way. Having to live in limbo for the summer, not knowing when your hearing would be, or if your license would be taken away, was definitely impactful. I truly hope that you learned a lesson about consequences, and how you are responsible for your actions. I am thankful every day that you got a ticket that day and weren’t in a terrible accident at that speed. And beyond the lessons in how to conduct consequential phone calls and how to navigate bureaucratic systems like the BMV, I hope you have truly taken to heart the risks that your actions pose and will be more thoughtful about using caution with your one precious life. You are too important. And with that all behind you now, you are back at school and more than halfway through another semester. You make us so proud with how you are balancing your life, and I’m always so happy to hear from you when you call just to chat or send another silly tiktok at 1:00am. I hope you continue to enjoy your time in school and take full advantage of all the opportunities this phase of life has to offer! I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you, but I also want to slow time down and see you enjoy every moment. Happy birthday, Ben. I love you so much. Mama