Dear Benjamin,

It is completely beyond my comprehension that my baby will be a teenager tomorrow. If I close my eyes, it is so easy to picture you as that sweet, cuddly little guy that loved tractors and dress up and his blue blanket. And although you still like to snuggle, it is hard to ignore that you are nearly as tall as I am and you have very much transformed into a young man.

In the last year you have grown so much. Physically, you have shot up several inches, your voice is sounding a lot different, and your face is starting to show the sharpened features that were waiting under the little boy softness. But more than that, you have grown in your maturity. You have become more responsible, and show a more developed sense of connection to the world around you. You experienced your first real loss this year when we lost Grammy over the summer. I know that seeing her in hospice was incredibly difficult for you. I appreciated how strong you were, visiting when it was uncomfortable and saying your goodbyes when you weren't ready. And as hard as it was to lose your grandmother, you were incredibly sensitive to the fact that I was losing my mother. You asked thoughtful questions, you said lots of I love yous, and when I returned home for the first time after she was gone, you were waiting for me in that early morning to hold me while I cried. I wish that was an experience you didn't have to face at your age, but I am proud of the way you handled it with compassion and love.

There are times when I get frustrated that you drag your feet on putting away laundry, or you over-indulge in screen time, or you aren't quite as good at listening as I'd like... but the truth is that I know you are evolving from a wonderful kid into a wonderful young adult. You still have lots to learn and skills to improve, but that will come. You have your own opinions, your own goals, and will have to struggle through your own troubles now and then. We will continue encouraging you and helping you problem-solve, knowing that you still need us even though you won't always want to admit it. I am so proud of you, and can't wait to see what the next year has in store!

I love you so much.
Mama